“Ought”  is a word that we need to banish from our vocabulary. (It’s a five-letter word that acts as an offensive “four-letter word.”)

Why? The word “ought” puts you in compromising positions. When you say or think, “I ought to ……..” you’re referring to your “ought self.” It’s the version of yourself that you feel you ought to be, based on external expectations, obligations and responsibilities.

When you pay attention to your “ought self” and follow through on what you think you should do, you run the risk of taking roads that go into cul-de-sacs, preventing you from getting to your desired destinations. And you can start to feel inadequate as well as unhappy and frustrated with yourself and your life, as I explain in this article Want to improve the way you live and work? Stop saying “I ought to …”  for the Forbes Coaches Council published online on February 25, 2025.

To help yourself, you need to shrink the power of your “ought self” and start to grow and develop your strong “ideal self” from your “real self.” This article explains three actions you can take. By doing so, you’ll be able to lean into your own personality, values and spirit. You’ll feel better as well as be a better human in all aspects of your life.