Asking and answering questions comes naturally to @MarceltheTherapyDog as well to us humans.

Marcel doesn’t talk though; instead, he gestures with his head and front paws and occasionally barks to make requests. As for answering questions, he responds by positioning his feet and body to fit the situation. (The frequent questions he answers include: Do you want to go out the front door or the back door? Where do you want to walk? Would you like a treat?)

By conveying his preferences, Marcel endears himself as a lovable, agreeable companion. We humans can deepen our relationships as well as gather more wisdom by asking more targeted questions of others. That’s the valuable point of this new book Ask: Tap into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leaderships and Life by Jeff Wetzler.

Wetzler, an entrepreneur and former international business consultant with expertise in adult learning and leadership, has based his book on a compelling, easy-to-execute thesis: “tapping into what other people truly think, know, and feel is a game-changing superpower.” The wisdom gathered can easily “lead to smarter decisions, more creative solutions, and deeper relationships.”

Yet, we often don’t ask quality questions for a whole range of reasons. Lack of curiosity. Shortage of time. Concern about inconveniencing others. Worry about what people may think of us.

And conversely those with wisdom may not feel comfortable speaking up – even when they know someone may be interested in what they have to say. Their reasons for withholding information include: Time constraints. Minimal energy to speak up. Ideas that are still marinating and not yet fully cooked and ready to serve. Uneven power dynamics. Disrespect. Not feeling valued.

(As an aside, because of my experiences with Chip Conley, the co-founder of the Modern Elder Academy and Marcel, I’m likely to volunteer my point of view if I have something to offer. According to Chip, wisdom is not something one teaches; instead, you share your wisdom with others for the social good. So I’ll say something like, “You haven’t asked me my opinion on this topic, which I’m very familiar with; if you’re interested in hearing my perspective as well as experiences, I’m glad to share.” Upon hearing this, people almost always ask me to do so. And then they thank me. What they do with the info is up to them and often unknown to me.)

To bridge the big gap between asking and answering, Wetzler created his Ask Approach.™ It consists of five steps, each answering a critical question, and forms the core of his book:

1. Choose curiosity: How can you spark your curiosity to make new discoveries and unexpected connections?
2. Make it safe: How do you make it easy and comfortable for people to tell you hard things?
3. Pose quality questions: What questions will best tap into the wisdom of those you ask?
4. Listen to learn: How can you hear what someone is trying to tell you? What’s the wisdom they’re sharing?
5. Reflect and reconnect: How do you turn their talk into your action? Namely, how do you use the wisdom you’ve gleaned?

The last section of the book explains how to build the habit of asking into your leadership and your life. We can all use more wisdom in our lives. And we need more leaders at all levels embracing curiosity. It’s the best way to find wisdom in and around you.

If you’re interested in continuing to improve your questioning, you can look into all the books, articles and resources available on the topic. You also can listen to interviews on podcasts, especially those who feature excellent interviewers, such as Kara Swisher, the tech journalist and host of On with Kara Swisher and co-host of Pivot.

Also, be aware of the recent Harvard Business Review article,  When Asking Too Many Questions Undermines Your Leadership. The author Luis Velasquez explains that you can get carried away and hurt your credibility when you ask too many poorly framed or overly broad questions. This type of questioning can show that you haven’t done your homework yet about a topic, or you’re trying to sell something that’s important to you but not necessarily to those you’re hitting up.

For example, bad questions run rampant on LinkedIn with all the new business developers and their spammy questions. Popular ones these days include: “Do you want to use my special system to get 100 leads in 10 days?”  “Can I send you a video about how to triple your income in 30 days?” “Can I show you how to turn your passion into a $250k+ lifestyle business?” Ick! No wisdom there.

For the rest of us, let’s spread more wisdom! Are you ready to start tapping into the wisdom of others by asking good questions as well as sharing your own hard-earned wisdom? If so, we’ll all become better thinkers and doers.