The technique of reappraising — that is shifting your perspective to consider a situation from a different angle — can feel counterintuitive. However, it’s a potent, research-proven practice that many coaches use regularly. Generally, we work with our clients to reframe a negative situation so that you can view it as neutral or less negative, or even possibly positive.

This type of perspective-shifting is not naturally joyful. It focuses on protecting yourself and your feelings. And when you’re trying to decease or avoid pain, you’re playing not to lose, rather than playing to win.

Yet, you also can play to win by shifting your perspective to look for joy. That was the epiphany I had while watching the delightful 2021 documentary Mission: Joy. Finding Happiness in Troubled Times. The two joyful friends, the Dalai Lama and the late Desmond Tutu played to win by creating joy from extreme adversity.

For more about their shift in perspective and for some tips on how to reappraise for yourself, check out How shifting the way you think can make you feel better, my Forbes.com article published Dec. 22, 2022.