How did he/she know my name?

That question runs through my mind every time a stranger calls me “Liz.”

Yet, the stranger has merely read the name tag I’m wearing.

In my family, whenever this happens, we say we’ve had a “Chuck Broussard” moment. It’s named after an innocent 8-year-old boy we ran into outside a public swimming pool in New Iberia, LA years ago.

Chuck was decked out in goggles, swim fins and snorkel. Everything—including his swim trunks—featured his name prominently hand-written on them.

“Hi, how are you doing, Chuck?” my Dad asked.

“How did you know my name?” Chuck sputtered.

My Dad, being the jester, launched into an involved story of how they had met on the bayou years ago when Chuck was a very small lad. (My Dad did restrain himself from telling the mystified Chuck about how the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus had been in a car wreck and both had died, which is another childhood story that highlights my Dad’s sense of humor.)

Few of us walk around like Chuck all the time with our name on our clothes and possessions. However, we drop many crumbs that serve as clues.

And rather than have jokesters like my Dad throw us off balance, we need to look at these clues as gifts to one another—the nametags, the Google searches and the profiles on LinkedIn, Facebook and other social media sites. They’re often the first step in helping us make a personal connection, which is a great way to establish rapport.

The key is the personal connection. Preferably, you find something in common, such as a school, work experience or a hobby that you can talk about when you meet or at least before you start working together.

Similarity with others is a strong indicator of likability. Social psychologists have shown that we tend to like people who are similar in background, lifestyle and personality traits. Diversity aficionados may cringe that we want to stick with our tribe. And curmudgeons may complain that we’re being manipulative to get others to like us. However, likeability is a scientific phenomenon.

Likeability is important because it’s tied to credibility. People are more credible to us if we view them as competent, composed and action oriented, as well as likable. Plus they also need to have integrity, as Jay Conger wrote about so convincingly in his classic book, Winning ‘em Over.

Credibility is especially important when you’re implementing change and need to be persuasive. According to Conger, besides building credibility, you also need to find common ground (Yes, likeability helps here too!) so that others have a stake in your ideas. You then need to develop compelling positions and evidence. Last, but certainly not least, you need to connect emotionally with people so that you and your solutions resonate on a personal level.

Are you having enough “Chuck Broussard moments“ to help you make personal connections with others?