Look them in their eyes, ask them a question and listen to their response.

When you meet with people one-on-one to gather information, you show respect. That helps you build trust as you also learn and gather valuable insights for making improvements.

This old school behavior still reaps benefits, especially when you ask a combination of closed-ended and open-ended questions. (For more about these two types of questions, see Closed up for clarity.)

While in-person meetings take time to conduct—especially when you consider the scheduling component—they’re well worth the investment in many situations. (Video and audio calls are a close second and third to in-person interviews.)

My agenda for in-person interviews is fairly simply. (And of course, I have an agenda. See Don’t agonize; agendize for why agendas are so important.)

Working with my client, we determine the objectives for the interviews, such as gathering points of view on a specific topic (or individual) and gaining support for a strategic initiative.

Then, like a survey, I develop the questions in advance. Yet I practice improv during each interview—which makes the interviews so powerful.

Based on what the individuals say and I hear, I ask targeted follow-up questions. I’m not just giving individuals the option to provide write-in responses; I’m also giving them an opening to offer color commentary.

Because I’m an objective outsider who’s expressing genuine interest in what they say, most interviewees open up and share more details and nuances. As a result, we explore the topic in Technicolor.

By contrast, surveys present the results in black and white—especially the short ones these days that ask only “yes” and “no” questions—with some shades of gray.

As for the type of applications for which I like to do one-on-one interviews, consider these three:

• Feedback. Individual sessions with key stakeholders are especially helpful at the front end of a change initiative to get a baseline measure and then at the back end to review the experience and assess lessons learned. At the front end, I can better gauge individuals’ interest level in the initiative, including their energy level, than if I ask a survey. At the back end and for post project-debriefs, I’m able to glean insights on how people perceive what happened within context of everything else going on, which can be very useful for preparing for the next round of changes. (Some change, even if it’s not yet defined, will be coming around the corner soon.)

• “Live” 360 degree assessment. When I meet with individuals one-on-one to ask them confidentially about the individual I’m coaching, I accomplish two objectives. First, I gather useful insights about the coachee and their work style, which will be helpful for us throughout the coaching engagement. Second, the individuals participating in the interviews become more invested in the process—thanks to giving up more time and thought in a personal meeting rather than in filling out an online survey. Often times, they express the desire for a positive outcome for themselves and the coachee. This support encourages the coachee to accept their feedback and make positive changes.

• Market research. When I conduct individual interviews of internal or external customers, I find that they become engaged in the “conversation” (which is generally one-sided as I don’t talk much). They often comment on how they’re enjoying the experience. They’re able to express themselves in their terms, rather than working within the confines of a survey. Often, they also will volunteer how much they value the individual/group/organization that’s sponsoring the research. The goodwill on both sides—customer and client—strengthens the working relationship.

These one-on-one interviews provide a personal touch that’s often missing at work these days as we communicate more and more asynchronously.

Technology has made it so much easier to communicate across geographies and time zones in our busy work days, but we don’t often really connect—even though we’re part of the “connection economy.”

Giving someone permission to share what’s on their mind and then listening intently to what they say is more than a throwback to the past. It can be the workplace equivalent of a powerful aphrodisiac.

Are you giving your colleagues and key customers enough opportunities to speak and be heard?

The biggest pain points with meetings?

• Unclear agenda or focus
• People coming to the meeting unprepared
• Unclear roles and responsibilities
• Discussions that don’t get to the heart of the matters
• Spending too much time on some topics and not enough time on others
• Inefficiencies; don’t get enough done
• Wasting time

Regardless of the group or team I survey in advance of the meeting effectiveness workshops I conduct, these are their top seven meeting aches and pains.

Yet, the group or team—especially the meeting leader—can relieve all of these pain points by consistently using a robust agenda.

Trouble is, many people don’t consistently use an agenda. And those who do leave out critical features that contribute to effective, brain-friendly and healthy meetings.

What’s a robust agenda? It includes at least these seven elements:

1. Meeting outcomes: What do you want to achieve by getting people together?
2. Type of meeting: Are you gathering to plan, brainstorm, check-in, problem-solve or some other reason?
3. Participants: Who should be there and for what purpose?
4. Topics: What are you planning to cover?
5. Time allocation: How much of the meeting time do you want to devote to each topic, based on the importance of the topic?
6. Actions required for each topic: Do you want discussion, information sharing, brainstorming or a decision?
7. Next steps: Are you including time at the end of the meeting to agree to the next steps, including due dates and owners of the actions?

It’s also helpful for the meeting leader, organizer (if a different person) and participants to specify on the agenda the time and place you’re meeting and who’s taking the lead for each time slot on the agenda.

Workshop participants and others often say they’re too busy to put together a complete agenda.

Yet, if you don’t take the time upfront, you run the risk that you’ll waste more time in your meetings.

In my experience, you need just about 15 to 20 minutes to focus and prepare an agenda for a standard meeting. (By the way, meetings should run no longer than 90 minutes without a break. Anything longer and people lose the ability to stay focused. Our brains need to recharge.)

For a non-standard or demanding meeting, you’ll need about double that time to prepare. And if you are serious about conducting effective meetings, you’ll build in some more time to vet the agenda with a few key participants.

To get in the habit of preparing an agenda in advance, schedule time on your calendar. Ideally, block out the time for agenda preparation immediately after you set the meeting. That way, you’ll have time set aside and you won’t be scrambling to pull together the agenda minutes before the meeting starts.

Once you prepare the agenda, send it out at least three or four days in advance, or ideally a week, unless it’s an emergency meeting. That way everyone who’s coming will have clear expectations as to the purpose of the meeting and their role.

Then during the meeting, everyone—not just the leader—can help keep the meeting on track.  Everyone has shared ownership and responsibility for the meeting.

Robust agendas sent in advance are especially helpful for virtual teams, or for participants who are working remotely and joining an in-person meeting by phone or video conferencing. The agenda acts as an easy-to-follow playbook so they can anticipate what’s happening next and participate more fully.

Agendas unfortunately have a bad rap. Just think of the expressions “hidden agenda,” “personal agenda” and “secret agenda.”

And for those of you who tend to be language purists, you may cringe along with me when you hear someone say “Let’s agendize (or agendicize this).” But you’ve got to acknowledge them for recognizing the power of agendas.

It’s time to respect —and regularly use—robust agendas.  By doing so, you show greater respect to meeting participants.

Also, by using agendas, you’ll reduce the amount of whining about bad meetings. And as some groups have told me, they often feel a need to serve wine to placate the whiners, which can lead to even more meeting inefficiencies.

Are you ready to make a toast to the robust agenda and start adopting it? Let me know if you need any help.

It’s hard to be good in a bad world.

It may be even harder to tell the truth in a workplace full of liars.

Lies, half-truths and deceptions run rampant in the workplace, according to Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., an authority on body language in business and author of the provocative new book, The Truth About Lies in the Workplace.  

In fact, you’re probably one of the liars—especially if you’re a leader in your organization.

Even if you don’t think you make a practice of fibbing (and we all lie at some point says Carol), you may be perceived as not telling the truth.  

Based on the research Carol conducted for her book, 67% percent of survey respondents said that the senior leaders of their organizations didn’t always tell the truth.

These employees complained most about leaders’ lies of omission and misrepresentation—“executives either didn’t tell the whole truth or they presented an overly optimistic view of the company’s current state and future prospects,” Carol reports in her book.

According to these employees, when leaders omit negative information, they’re telling half-truths—or lies. When the leaders gloss over the truth, they are lying.

Well, not all untruths are lies, as Carol writes and I agree.

Based on our experiences, perspectives and belief systems, we see different things looking at the same situation at the same time.

Remember the fable of the blind men and the elephant?  Based on which elephant’s body part the men touch, they have a totally different description of the animal.

We need to respect others’ perspectives, experiences and belief systems, which is one of the morals of this fable.

We also need to show leaders respect and have compassion for the tightrope they’re walking in their jobs.

Leaders may withhold information for a number of reasons, which may seem valid to them but not to others. But when leaders omit information, are they acting in a deceitful manner? It depends.

Calling all acts of omission and overly optimistic statements as lies is harsh, as I’m sure Carol would agree.

After all, people look to leaders to be hopeful about the future. If the leaders become “Debbie Downers” or “Pessimistic Petes,” everyone—leaders, employees, shareholders, customers and all other stakeholders—might as well throw in the towel and move on to something else.

In fact, neuroscience supports taking an optimistic perspective so we won’t wallow in the awful. The experts call this “reappraisal.”

When you reappraise, you position issues as much as possible from the positive perspective rather than the negative—although you definitely don’t want to put lipstick on a pig, as the saying goes.

When you paint a picture of the possibilities, you create a safety zone for people. Especially with encouragement and recognition, they’ll start to think bigger, more creative thoughts and feel more self-assured and self-reliant in their ability to rise to the challenges facing them and their organization. (My experience with coaching and consulting clients shows that this is an incredibly powerful technique.)

So what to do to avoid being perceived as a leader who “lies”? Try these five tips.

1. Keep in mind that the truth is not black or white; it probably has more than 75 shades of gray. In our fast-paced, multi-cultural, transparent VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous) world, we careen from information excesses to knowledge/wisdom deficits. Rather than talk about “finding the truth,” look for facts, data and signs that describe the current reality.
2. Look at situations from multiple perspectives.  Then ask yourself what information different people would find interesting and useful in their situation, especially if they need—or want to—take action. And try to share more information, especially in a way that encourages, not shuts off, conversation.
3. Be balanced. If you are prone to irrational exuberance, temper it, especially when signals point to problems either now or on the horizon.
4. Practice candor and encourage it in others.  If you read Carol’s new book The Truth About Lies in the Workplace, you’ll get some great tips plus practical suggestions on how to defend yourself and your organization from backstabbers, credit-taking colleagues and bosses and cheating job applicants.
5. Acknowledge others for making efforts to make the workplace a better place. If people start to make small efforts, they can start to build new positive habits. They need reinforcement along the way so they’ll continue their efforts and bring others along with them. Don’t be like the Neanderthal CEO I worked for years ago who thought employees should give up their Saturdays for company training and only wanted to reward for results, not efforts.

Since perception is in the eye of the beholder, what actions are you taking to make sure others consider you trustworthy and honest?  

When are “passionate people driven by a common purpose” prone to silence?

Probably not when they’re delivering Procter & Gamble’s well-known household brands to consumers around the world.

But 200 P&G managers clammed up on a phone call with the recently departed CEO and the new CEO, who’s returning from retirement.

As reported by the Wall Street Journal, May 25, 2013:

“Messrs. (Bob) McDonald and (A.G.) Lafley hosted a call on Friday with about 200 P&G managers. Mr. McDonald said he was glad his mentor was returning to the company, and Mr. Lafley reiterated his priorities: strengthen P&G’s position in developed markets, keep expanding in emerging markets, fill the innovation pipeline and cut costs, a person who heard the call said.

“The call lasted about 10 minutes. At the end, they asked whether anyone had any questions. ‘Nobody said a thing,’ the person said.” (emphasis added)

What’s going on?

Are these members of the extended leadership team thinking they’re totally clued in and informed? Or are they indifferent? Fearful? Distracted? Feeling like their buttons are being pushed or something else?

Is it a blip? Or a signal of something that could be consequential?

My experience shows that getting people to talk and ask questions on phone calls can be like squeezing blood out of a turnip—as the expression goes.

Yet, this group of 200 managers is different from many I work with. For example, they are all employees of the same organization. They are familiar with both the exiting and entering CEOs. They probably know one another.

You’d think they’d feel comfortable asking a question or even giving a shout-out, welcoming A.G. back to P&G.  But maybe this call is out of the routine, or something else is at play.

Regardless, leaders need to encourage conversations. Two-way dialogue is valuable for building shared understanding and even more importantly, trust.

Talking with each other, rather than at each or texting or emailing, is an effective and efficient way first to clarify and confirm what’s going on. Then when people are clear about the context and what’s going on, you start to agree on actions to take, assign responsibilities and mobilize everyone.

When I was working with another consumer product company that had a new CEO, a new strategy and a new business model, we started regular check-in calls to do just this–keep the extended leadership team informed and involved.

We also wanted to build rapport, credibility and trust.   

By talking in the moment, the new CEO could convey his passion, share breaking news and provide context. He also had others join him on the call to role model the importance of communication and teamwork.

After a few months, we expanded the calls from the top 120 to all 2,200 salaried employees who had easy access to a phone line. It was an easy and cost-effective way to be inclusive. Many of these individuals didn’t know one another because under the prior business model they had worked in silos in separate divisions.

For the first year, when we opened the line for questions though, we seldom had more than one or two people speak up per call even when the CEO asked questions.

Yet, our formal research showed that 92% said they appreciated the ability to ask questions of the top leaders. (Also, 85% said the calls provided helpful information for doing their jobs and understanding how they fit into the strategic transformation.)

So we decided to make it easier for people to ask questions. We introduced these changes:

• We set up an anonymous email box that people could send questions in advance, especially if they lacked the confidence or were fearful of speaking up on the call.
• We planted questions by asking members of the management committee to make personal requests of people for questions.
• We added pictures of the speakers to the agenda, which we sent out in advance.

People responded to these improvements and started to talk more. They not only asked questions, but also offered comments and suggestions. This increased energy and engagement helped drive the company’s transformation forward.

The telephone remains a valuable workhorse, especially to connect people quickly, get them on board and moving in the same direction. But sometimes you have to take the initiative to help people talk rather than just listen.

How are you encouraging conversations on the phone and in person that will turn into action?  

Oversharing—especially on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube —is an epidemic, if you believe some of the pundits.

Undersharing, however, continues to be an insidious practice in the corporate world.

Just consider these 7 habits:

• Sharing information “on a need-to-know basis” to protect corporate secrets.
• Withholding information as a way to maintain efficiency.
• Avoiding saying anything so as not to worry people.
• Staying silent to avoid acknowledging a problem that doesn’t yet have a solution.
• Sugarcoating information to try to put a positive spin on negative situations.
• Saving time (especially leaders’ time) by staying quiet.
• Keeping information under wraps as a power play.

All of these practices are old school, unsuitable for the VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous) world in which we, including a growing number of knowledge workers, now live and work.

When knowledge workers lack access to up-to-date, actionable information, they can’t perform their jobs, much less be as creative and innovative as their leaders desire.  They’re operating in a black hole.

For example, one of my clients expressed frustration with the situation at one of their plants.

Most of the managers there are ex-military Baby Boomers who have worked almost all of their careers under the “need-to-know” principle, which restricts access to information. These managers are comfortable with the status-quo.

Need-to-know is outdated and causing problems on a number of levels.

From a daily work perspective, employees at all levels are interacting with business partners outside the four walls of the plant.

These partners, who include company co-workers, clients and suppliers, assume the employees know what’s going on in their own organization.

Furthermore, the partners expect the employees to use their brains, not their brawn, to help them solve problems and get things done.

From a strategic perspective, smart employees aren’t able to contribute as much because they don’t have the context or the details to make educated decisions.

From a mutual respect point of view, the tension is increasing between the employees, the younger ones especially, and the managers.

Employees are complaining to each other and co-workers at other company locations about being left in the dark. They say they resent not being trusted by senior staff, and in turn they have less respect for their managers.

The status quo is untenable, especially when leaders—and shareholders—value high-quality outcomes, speed and cost efficiencies. And don’t forget strong customer relations too.

Employees can’t do their jobs much less perform at their best if they’re working like one of the three “wise” monkeys: see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil.

These managers—and you too, if you’re an information undersharer—have got to start working differently and share more information.

To combat the situation, I’m working with the client to address the “will, skill and hill” simultaneously.

From the “will” perspective—the motivation—we’re explaining to managers that they have the power and the autonomy to be the go-to people for making sure their employees have the tools of their trade. These tools are information, not the hammers and nails that their parents and grandparents counted on to do their work.

And in order for managers to share information, they must be well-informed themselves and have clarity about the company’s plans, their plans and actions.  In that regard, the organization’s leaders are taking responsibility for supporting managers, including improving their business literacy, which is a new way to work.

As for “skill”—the ability—we’re providing communication training for managers.

And last but certainly not least, to help managers get over the “hill”—that is overcome barriers in their way—we’re giving them support. This includes agendas for team meetings, talking points, frequently-asked questions and answers and tips for conducting meetings.

With these actions, we’re supporting managers as they adopt new ways to work. We know we’ll need to reward and reinforce managers as the old ways are well ingrained.

At the same time, we’re being explicit with managers and employees about the value of practicing open communication now. That signals the rules have changed about the need-to-know communication.

The transformation won’t happen overnight, yet small steps that create new habits will add up to big change over time.

How do you know if you’re sharing the right amount of information to get the outcomes you want? You can count on me to guide you.